You Better Pick
by MeconMe
Summary: Poor her, it's her first day in the job. And what does she get? A pair of unnerving blue eyes and beautiful raven curls! Someone's being naughty today! Jisbon and a plus!
1. Totally Not Good!

A/n. I know, I'm bad. I haven't finished Red Sleep yet but here I am posting multi-chaptered stories. You see, these guys just won't leave me alone! In fact, they pestered me so much that I have written more of them compared to Red Sleep (which I'm supposed to finish). Anyways, I hope you'll still enjoy reading this. Yeah, this is my first attempt in writing humor.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I could only wish.

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**You Better Pick**

**Chapter 1. Totally Not Good!**

_Unnerving_

_Very. Unnerving._

I worked hard to get this job and I did my best to show the others that I deserve being here. Sleepless nights, skipped meals, forgotten family reunions – I gave my all, and now, here I am on my first day in my dream job.

I should be happy.

Really. 

But what do I get?

Huh.

After only thirty minutes of sitting in this chair – that I used to daydream about, here I am being gobbled up by two piercing blue eyes.

**Just. Plain. Unnerving.**

I thought that since this is my first day, they would cut me some slack. But **NO**! As soon as possible, they threw me to the lion. And by lion, I mean a pretty little girl with the face of an angel and a heart of a trickster.

I have heard a lot about her. Mainly they go along the lines "_I can't believe she just said that to me_" or "_Don't get fooled by her eyes_" and occasionally "_Oh, god. I got her. Can I ask for transfer?_"

Oh come on!

At first I thought they're just kidding. Heck! They're full grown educated adults fretting over a 6 yrs. old with, may I say, beautiful bouncy raven curls and sweet smiles.

I laughed **HARD** at them. 

Maybe I shouldn't have.

For karma is staring right at my face, here in my office, on the opposite side of my desk.

She's silently sitting on the couch, occasionally swinging her dangling feet and doing nothing, except gazing me to nothingness.

Well, so much for first day action!

Maybe this is her way of welcoming me on my job. 

_**Yeah right**._

Because every little girl, welcome their newly appointed principal by saying that, and I quote, her homeroom adviser is a spinster for she never worked the nerves to tell that "porky, red-faced neighbor" whom she affectionately and secretly referred to as "Mr. Pigglydoodle " about her undying love and very corny term of endearment, unquote.

Sorry. I can't help it.

At the mention of "Pigglydoodle", I knocked my self out. It took me minutes and a lots of glares from fellow co-teachers, to control myself and stop laughing.

Seriously, this little devil couldn't have done any harm - if she hadn't announced it over the school's PR system.

After unceremoniously marching the little girl here in my room, Ms. Smith left without another word. It's safe to say that after having her secret shamelessly blurted out; she won't be coming back to school and neither to town.

It's not that she's a big loss, in fact if I may say so, its **good riddance**, for that woman's a nosy know-it-all harpy, but the fact still remains that this girl single-handedly drove a teacher away when no one, for the last 25 years could.

I could either congratulate her, or admire her for her skillful tactics.

But I'm the new principal so I had to do the right thing. So here we are, in my office, waiting for her parents to arrive. I phoned them earlier and told them about their daughter's recent behavior. Her mother just sighed when I told her about what she did this time. Apparently, they are used to being called in the office so after apologizing for her daughter and assuring me that they will be here within 30 minutes, she hanged up.

Fifteen minutes had already passed. And I can't bear it any longer.

God! I have better things to do than being sized up by a kid.

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A/n. That's it for the first! What do you think? Not funny enough? Too sarcastic? Not much action? Please do tell! Reviews are very much appreciated. And btw, please don't worry about the other stories! I will finish them! Cross my heart!

Have a good day people!

_Preview:_

_The silence raged on for what seems to be an eternity. This must be what they call **the calm before the storm**._


	2. The Fun Begins

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I could only wish.

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**Chapter 2: The Fun Begins**

Should I wear the _blue skirt_ or the _brown one_ for my party later tonight?

Oh well.

I let out a sigh when I momentarily returned the gaze of girl in front of me and she responded with a grin. It looks like an innocent grin, but I can't help but to think that at the back of her sweet façade, it's actually a devilish grin.

Oh no!

Imagining a little girl with horns and fangs is not a good sign, especially in my kind of job!

I had enough, so I decided to pull out her profile and pass the time by getting to know her history.

Name: Tabitha Patricia Jane

Gender: Female

Age: 6 yrs old.

Date of birth: January 16 20xx

Place of Birth: San Francisco, California

Father's Name: Patrick Jane

Occupation: Consultant of California Bureau of Investigation.

Wait, _Patrick Jane. _I think I heard this name before._ Jane. Jane, Patrick_…Aha! He's that psychic guy. My mother used to watch his shows. She even tried to drag me to the studio to watch it live! I heard about his family's tragedy and I even caught it on TV when he stoically admitted that he's a fraud.

…

…

…

I'll be damned.

Last year, during a school fair, the Math club decided to fill a bottle with coins and let people guess how much money there is. It was pretty hard considering that they used different denominations. Each person is given only three tries. It took Tabitha two to correctly guess the amount. When asked how she was able to do so, she simply shrugged and said that she could read minds.

_This_ is getting interesting.

On to the next fact.

Mother's Name: Teresa Lisbon Jane

Occupation: Senior Agent of California Bureau of Investigation.

Wow.

The media made a fuss about it when Agent Lisbon along with her team caught the bastard murderer that had been lurking in California for years. I remembered the newspaper saying that because of this woman, all the other woman and children in California could peacefully sleep without worrying that a murderer is looming over them. It had been nine years since a shootout lead to the capture of Red John and because of that, Agent Lisbon has been awarded a medal because of her bravery.

I guess Agent Lisbon became Agent Jane now.

No wonder this little girl is a spitfire.

All child psychologists would have a field day when they learn about this family. A psychic for a father, a hero for a mother, well that makes a child what? A heroic psychic or a psychic hero?

I chuckled at my own thoughts but was immediately brought back to reality when I heard voices from the corridor.

_Will you please, please slow down? Were not in a race! And it won't matter if you reach 100 miles per minute._

_First of all, I am not running a race, you're just slow. Maybe you should rake up that cardio of yours. Second, did it ever occur to you that the reason why I am going fast is because I want to put as much distance from __**you**__ as possible? Third and most important of all, Tabitha is inside the principal's office, it's just natural that we, no, __**I**__ hurry. You're not supposed to be here anyway! I told Rigsby to keep an eye on you._

_Ah, see, Rigsby can't do that because his eyes are reserved for Van Pelt! Kidding aside, let me say that first, the principal and Tabitha won't vanish even if __**we**__ take our time to walk like normal people. Second, I am not slow; I am simply stating that you should slow down. And I am in a perfect condition so no need to __**level**__**up**__ my cardio. Third of all, there is no need for you to put as much distance between us as possible. You're still angry aren't you? Because I can tell you, the man deserves it; he was cheating on his partner._

_Yeah right, he deserves it as much as you deserve that punch!_

_Which you gladly arrested him for. And besides, you're going to kiss my boboo better right?_

_I do believe that the Kindergarten section is on the first floor!_

_Ooops, I guess I missed Baba Black Sheep!_

_Arrrgh!_

The voices are already in front of my office door and I could hear their conversation loud and clear. By this time, Tabitha has left me and had trained her eyes on the door. She was wearing a Cheshire grin that I couldn't help but admire.

_What are you doing? You're not going in there!_

_And why, do clearly explain my love, am I not allowed to go inside this room?_

I could here a desperate groan on the other side. I can't help the smile that tugged on my lips and my gaze fell on the still smiling kid. I wonder what kind of life she leads.

Interesting.

_I have a hundred reasons running in my head that I could give. Let's start with the fact that the last time you were inside that room, Tabitha's former Math teacher decided to resign, move out of California, out of the country and change __**HIS**__ name!_

_Teresa, I do believe that Wang-Lei fits him better than Mr. Georges. And besides, it's not my fault if the man was a big wimp! So if you may please stand aside, I still have to rescue my little princess. Don't worry, I'll get back to you my queen! ASAP!_

I heard no sharp retort but I saw my doorknob, twisting and turning in a rigorous manner. For a moment I feared that it will pop off.

_It's not gonna work Jane._

_We'll see about it. __**Mrs Jane.**_

Silence ensued for a few minutes and I wondered what was happening to the couple. Tabitha on the other hand clearly knew what was happening for she turned her gaze back to me and continued to grin.

The silence raged on for what seems to be an eternity. This must be what they call the _calm before the storm._

_

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**A/n** Yep, still short (sorry) but I just had to end it there! As you may notice, I remained vague about Tabitha's year of birth. I'll just let you people fill it out according to your own timeline. I hoped you enjoy that. I'll be back soon!

Thanks again! And I would really love to hear from you!

**_Preview:_**

"_You already memorized that didn't you, because that is the same thing you said to me when you placed a frog on Eric Richard's bag and also during the time when you decided that Cho's novels are good substitutes to your coloring books"_


	3. Meet The Cause

**A/n** This is like a filler chapter and not much action so I am posting Chapter 4 along with it. Yay! I just had to cut them.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I could only wish – in fairness I am getting the hang of typing this!

**Chapter 3: Meet The Cause**

All of a sudden, as if a spell was broken, my office door opened to reveal a very attractive couple. It is very clear that Tabitha's beautiful curls came from her mother and so is her aura. The woman standing on the doorway is smaller than me but she extrudes this, this…how should I call it, this _presence_ - authoritarian presence that you couldn't ignore. **This **is Senior Agent Teresa Jane. Despite the aura, the badge and the manly clothing though, Mrs. Jane is _definitely_ an attractive woman – her green eyes made sure of that.

On the other hand, the man beside her must be the origin of Tabitha's angelic looks. His blonde curls are slightly ruffled and he is wearing a three piece suit. He's a very handsome man and his grin matches that of his daughter. Aside from that, another giveaway is their eyes. They both have the same blue gaze that felt like their penetrating into my very soul.

I have a sudden feeling that this is going to be a long day.

When Tabitha saw her parents, she rushed to them and knee-hugged her mother. Mrs. Jane bent down and kissed the little girl's forehead while Mr. Jane ruffled his little girl's curls.

"Daddiiieeeeee" the little girl squealed in protest.

This is one loving family, make no mistakes on that.

At this moment, I decided to cut-off the exchange and made my presence known.

"Ahem"

"Oh, you must be the new principal? Alice Lambert." Mr. Jane strode to my desk and held out his hand. His boldness shocked me.

"My name is Patrick Jane, Tabitha's father – but you already know that right, same as the fact that you know that this beautiful woman is my dear wife and that yes I am the ex-psychic your mother used to faithfully watch to which she probably somehow tried to convince you to watch me perform live and that yes, my wife is indeed the famous Agent Lisbon but she became Agent Jane 7 yrs ago, and yes, she is currently angry with me because I supposedly made a man so angry that he felt it was necessary to inflict physical pain on me, **although** the blame is totally his because he was cheating his girl with victim of our current case. But no I am not a real psychic; I'm just good at observing. " I listened with amazement and irritation as this strange Adonis pour out all my private thoughts out in the open. Yes my PRIVATE thoughts.

Somehow despite my being dumbstruck, I heard a faint "Oh please" that come from the dark-haired woman standing behind Mr. Jane.

I stood like a statue as the strange man wriggled his fingers that are held out in front of me. I was about to reach out and shake his hands and pretend like nothing strange happened, but what was once there suddenly vanished as Mr. Jane withdrew his hands and snapped his fingers.

"Of course, how could I forget? Sorry bad manners! Thank you very much Ms Lambert." Since I somehow lost my ability to speak ever since this couple entered my room, my confusion as to what he was pertaining about was only evident in my raised eyebrows.

"Thank you for thinking that Teresa and I make an attractive couple and also for calling me an Adonis." He again extended his hand towards me but all I could think of is how stupid I was to even invite Tabitha's parents in here.

I should have known that the apple does not fall far from the tree.

Am I to experience what Ms Smith had experienced this morning?

Instinctively I patted my pocket that held the keys on the PR system room. Just in case.

At this moment, Mrs. Jane decided to intervene and not-so-politely-and-discreetly elbowed her husband out of the way while still holding their little girl. I watched in amazement as Mr. Jane stumbled back while clutching his side.

"Violence is not the answer Teresa!" He whined, but to my surprise, smiled at his wife and his laughing daughter.

So much for a good example I guess.

Mrs. Jane ignored her husband's reply and instead extended her small hands in my direction. For a moment I hesitated because I might make a fool out of myself again.

Life Lesson # 1: Be Careful Around The Janes.

And as it goes, I think I will be learning this lesson in a painful way.

"I'm sorry, please don't mind him. It boosts his ego. I am Agent Teresa Lisbon." She said with a very firm voice. Despite my doubts, I took the woman's hands because I would look even more stupid and incompetent if I choose to ignore a parent.

Mmmm, tight grip.

But no, this is not a power play – normally it would be, if my visitors are just parents who are either called because of their child's misbehavior or that they decided to call our attention because of mundane minor details that don't fit their standard. But seeing that the words "normally" and "just parents" don't really fit this family, I decided to drop it and instead, motioned for them to sit down on the chairs in front of my desk. Tabitha opted to stay on her mother's lap.

As three pairs of eyes gazed at me – two blue piercing orbs and a blazing green one – I felt unnerved again.

Three times unnerved.

Three times. Very. Unnerved.

But before I got completely drowned by my reverie, Tabitha decided to break the uncomfortable silence by addressing her mother.

"Mommy, before you say anything, I just want to say that I did what I had to do and I firmly believed that it achieved pleasing results". The little girl quipped as she clung to her mother.

Mrs. Jane flashed a smile down her daughter. And I couldn't help it as my eyebrows reached the heights of Mt. Everest.

"You already memorized that didn't you, because that is the same thing you said to me when you placed a frog on Eric Richard's bag and also during the time when you decided that Cho's novels are good substitutes to your coloring books" Mrs. Jane said, clearly amused at the actions of her own daughter.

"But I was trying to develop Eric's reflexes and I only tried to make Uncle Cho's books look interesting. They don't have pictures!" I stared in amusement as the little girl pulled out not-so-convincing arguments and made them sound like the only reasons in the world.

This girl could become a great actress one day.

"Huh! That's my girl, always thinking about the welfare of others" said Mr. Jane, a mischievous grin lurking in his lips.

"By welfare you mean how she colored all of Cho's novels or how she ate all Rigsby's food – which resulted to him almost having a breakdown or how she opened and read Van Pelt's files – some of which are confidential." She addressed her husband. I find it interesting that these couple could immediately create a world of their own despite being in the midst of people, but at the same time I find it irritating that they could also forget that there are other people in the room.

Heck! I am the principal here people!

"You see honey, by coloring Cho's novels, she helped him imagine better the scenes depicted in his books and that she also helped Rigsby get fit and stick to his diet and seriously, no harm was done when she opened Grace's computer, besides I do believe that those "confidential files" that you are referring to are merely Van Pelt's unsent love letter to Rigsby." Mr. Jane said with the same intensity that his daughter exhibited previously.

"Still, she shouldn't have done that." She answered her husband with irritation written all over her face. "Sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you not to do things like that?" Mrs. Jane looked at her daughter with pleading eyes.

"Oh Mommy, that's alright, as I have said before, my ways receive pleasing results and besides Uncle Kim, Uncle Wayne and Auntie Grace still loves me." The little girl said cheekily.

Yeah, I second demotion. Who wouldn't love a kid with that kind of face?

A/n On to Chapter 4!


	4. No You Didn't!

Disclaimer: Nope

Chapter 4. **No You Didn't!**

"Yes I know sweetheart. Your Uncle Kim, Uncle Wayne and Auntie Grace all love you. But also because of you, Cho decided to lock his books away in his desk while Rigsby decided to install a bolt in the cabinet that holds all our food in the pantry and Van Pelt placed a password on her desktop." Mrs Jane looked thoughtfully at her daughter as she informed the little girl about the consequences of her action.

My eyes bulged as I took in what Mrs Jane said. If I am not mistaken, those people that she mentioned are state agents, members of her famous team, people who work at THE California Bureau of Investigation. These are tough agents that chase down murderers, hunts down serial killers and practically face the evilness of the world everyday of their lives, but they had to take extra precautions like bolts and locks and passwords just because of a 6 yrs old girl.

I bit a snort that's threatening to come out of my lips as I remember how I used to laugh at the little precautions that my colleagues take when this little girl is around. I have always thought how ridiculous my fellow teachers were whenever they fell into a silent hush when they pass by Tabitha or how they would sometimes tiptoe around so as not to get the attention of the little girl or how, one of them even took it the extremes by not looking at Tabitha anymore and pretending that she did not exist, which, ultimately and **unsurprisingly** brought him to Tabitha's limelight and resulted to him being her favourite for **a whole year**. And I must say, being Tabitha's favourite is certainly not in the wish list of that teacher, or of any teacher for that matter.

I shook my head as I realized how dangerous this little girl could be.

"Oh I see." For a while Tabitha seemed to contemplate about what she just heard and her face drew into a blank expression. For a fleeting moment, I felt pity for the little girl and irritation towards her mother because despite her mischievous ways, she is still a little child and she might take those revelations the wrong way.

I was about to give Mrs. Jane a piece of my mind when Tabitha looked up at her mother with a big grin plastered on her face.

"That's okay Mommy, I totally understand." She said as she batted her eyelashes towards her mother. Thank goodness she did not took it the wro–

"Computer passwords could be pretty tricky, but I could handle that and bolts and locks are just piece of cakes." She said that like a child reporting to her mommy that bananas are yellow and birds have wings.

Didn't I just say she was dangerous? Really, I should learn to stick to my principles.

Apparently it's not just me who was struck by Tabitha's words because any moment from now, Mrs Jane's eyes would fall off the ground. For a moment I feared that she would lash out on the little girl about whoms and wheres and hows. But after a split second, her face softened and she instead turned towards her almost-forgotten husband.

"Patrick, please, just** please** tell me you did not." She addressed the silent man with a very, very calm and low voice.

OH NO! I know that kind of voice. And even though I still do not understand what is happening, I know for sure that a storm is brewing! My mother used to be a veteran of that tone.

EVERYONE DOCK!

The man in question shifted uneasily under the heavy gaze of his wife, but he flashed her an innocent smile that is almost identical to the one that his daughter is wearing.

"Well you see my dear; I thought it would help her. You know, what if she forgets her locker combination!" He said nonchalantly.

Oh I see, he taught his daughter how to pick locks in case she forgets her locker combination. Well I guess he did it under good intentions. Besides, everyone knows that once in a while kids forget their loc– WAIT A MINUTE!

"Patrick, she...is...only...**six**...years...old. **SHE**...is...still...in...**Grade school,** they...**don't**...have...lockers." From where I stand, or rather sit, I could see that Mrs Jane is trying to control herself. I could also see that she is failing.

"Oooooh! I thought lockers are given in every level and school."He gave a cheeky grin to his wife. I could have believed that he really didn't know, have I not remembered that the man in front of me is **THE** Patrick Jane. A man who used to make his living in making people believe that he is a psychic.

Clearly Mrs Jane does not believe him too and I could tell that the only reason why up until now, she has restrained herself from standing up and inflicting God-knows what kind of physical pain on her husband – because she is clearly capable of that – is because a giggling Tabitha is sitting on her lap. So instead, she settled on a staring/glaring game against her husband.

Well then, I guess I have to interrupt now or else I might end up putting these two adults in detention. And what kind of news that would be around the school!

"Oh I wouldn't mind a detention." Mr Jane quipped as he tried to avoid his impending doom by turning the attention on me.

Despite the fact that I know that I am talking with an ex-fraud-psychic, I still could not understand how he could pop up statements like that as if he could really read my mind.

"Detention?" Clearly Mr Jane's tactics worked as Mrs Jane momentarily forgot about her anger towards her husband and turned her attention on me and contemplated on the idea that I might try to put Tabitha on detention.

If things are that easy, I wouldn't be sitting here, watching a family sitcom unfold in front of my desk.

No, detention is not the answer. The last time Tabitha was on detention, a resignation letter and a withdrawal letter both landed on the lap of the previous principal and a teacher and a family both walked out of this room and out of this school.

No. Tabitha has already drastically decreased the population of this school – both faculty and student population, so I have to stop this before everything went out of control.

That is, if I could get through to this family.

"No need to fear my dear. You see Ms Lambert here thought that it would be nice to put the two of us on detention." He said as he threw a grin at his wife and back at me.

This man should seriously stop grinning or else one day, he will just wake up to find that he won't be able to wipe it off his face which in turn would be bad news for all women under five mile radius. When that happens, the only recipients of good news are hospitals who would be busy reviving fainting and hysterical women.

I trained my gaze on the woman sitting near Mr killer-smile and wondered how she could have possibly stand him and much less marry him.

My reverie was cut short when a scowl appeared on Mrs Jane's face and I could again see the irritation on her blazing green eyes.

"Oh I wouldn't mind if you put him on detention. I would gladly wrestle him onto a room and handcuff him on a desk. Just make sure that he is supervised by your best terror teacher. And that his supervisor has an iPod on so that he/she won't have to suffer his entirely useless babbles. Or be hypnotized. Or be driven to insanity." She said with all mockery as she held on to a squirming Tabitha.

"Well in that case, I certainly wouldn't make a fuss if it's **Teresa** who gets to wrestle me into a room, handcuff me into a desk and keep an eye on me."Mr Jane's eyes glint with a hint of amusement as he finished his statement.

My eyes bulged into sizes of saucers but it paled in contrast to Mrs Jane's reddened cheeks. Silence enveloped the room as the sentence hang into the air. The only person who gets to enjoy what happened, beside Mr Jane is Tabitha who was laughing in fits and almost rolling on her stomach in Mrs Jane's lap – if that is even possible.

I don't think she understands the gravity of the situation but I do believe that she takes pleasure on seeing her mother turn into a tomato. Apparently, the daughter and father tandem finds it an enjoyable habit to turn their mother and wife into a fruit.

I sighed in frustration as I looked at the family in front of me.

Fifteen minutes.

Only fifteen minutes have passed since this meeting started but I already feel like I want to bolt out of this room and away from these strange people.

It's final.

Life lesson # 2: Never ,as in ever, invite the Janes anymore no matter how drastic the situation is, for the sake of my existence as well as my sanity.

That is, if I will ever be able to get out of this room.

A/n Hoped you like that. More principal and Janes interaction on the next chapters as well as hints on the current life of our favourite CBI gang!

Reviews please!


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